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Sadventure Postponed #12 (2): Festivals, oh Festivals...

Updated: Mar 28, 2023

Typing up the first blog has turned my 'puter into a 1980s relic. In fact, quite frankly, it is something that is running slower than me - which is a miracle in itself. Therefore I'm starting a fresh post about my preparation for the Cotswolds Running Festivals 5k race.

June 25

June 26

With a last minute cancellation, and a rare dry June day, I really had no excuses not to run. Especially, for once, my legs felt 'fine'. And pleased I did because I ran Route 2 in 47 minutes. I'm still struggling to get a rhythm going on this route though.

June 27

Route 1. Determined to get close, if not, at 49 minutes - my target for this month. Was overtaken by two hares which I took as a good omen. I was wrong. 51 minutes. Pants.

June 28

Has anyone woken up and thought "What I really don't want to do with my day is go for a run"? Because that was how I woke up this morning. I ran yesterday. I'm tired. The hills are too big. It's too hot. I really, really, really can't be arsed.

That is how I wake up every morning. Well, except for the 'hot' bit. That varies. It's too cold or too rainy, or too muggy or too foggy or too drizzly. Basically, it's too English. But I still wake up with that feeling on a daily basis.

Today was no different except I really, really, really, really didn't want to go out for a run. They say you should always listen to your gut instinct, and my gut instinct has never been anything other than 'don't go for a run'.

At the last kilometre, I felt the muscle in my inner thing twang. I was reduced to hobbling home gingerly. Quite how then I recorded my fastest time ever for Route 1: 48 mins, I don't know.

Am thrilled though.

June 29

National Heatwave Day.

Unlike last year when I jeffed off to Scotland for a month, and arrived just as the best weather in the history of Britain did, this year has been quite a damp squib. Except when we had summer in February, that was good - especially as I wasn't running then and could just bask in the garden, or work the garden, depending.

Anyway, I digress This year, I decided it was utmost sensible to spend the day weeding the garden, which would contribute to my overall fitness. But it would be of the most utmost sensible to not run in 33 degrees heat. Besides, I'd overslept and had absolutely no energy.

June 30

Had intended to run. Had even prepared for it yesterday by gorging on chips from the chippie. Not helped raise my energy levels today. Maybe later.

Still this month, I have:

- Smashed my monthly target of 49 mins, by 30 seconds for Route 1.

- Discovered I can only run route 1: any other routes I have no stamina for.

- Reduced my moving time by 25 minutes (17h, 30mins); walked 8km less than May (99kms), and yet still done 17 runs/walks, one of which was twice as long as May's stroll. Go figure.

- Climbed 1,247 metres.

July 1

Fully intended to run today. Got dressed in sportwear and everything. Ran down the hill and then just thought 'nope'. Tried again this afternoon. Same thing. Think I'm sickening for something. Chocolate cake most likely.

July 2

Aim for the month: 46 minutes

Aim for the day: 48 minutes

Mission failed. I am really struggling to get mobilised. I have absolutely no idea why.

July 3

Aim for the month: 46 minutes

Aim for yesterday: 48 minutes

Aim for today: Just to get out for a run.

Every night I go to bed and think "I'll go for a run first thing, can't wait!". But most days I get up, put my sports get up on, only to discover my get up and go has gone.

Managed to get going today- was really not easy. Battled to run down the initial hill but then managed to get into a gentle walk/run pattern. 51 minutes. It's a start.

July 4

50 mins, route 1. Just pleased I got out and ran.

July 5

No running today because sometimes sitting on your arse is just so much more preferable. Most times actually.

July 6

Yay - it's overcast. Perfect running temperature. I have discovered the secret to getting a better time: lose oneself in an argument with someone in your head. Work on winning the argument, rehearse it many times. It completely absorbs one's thinking, and avoids the concentration on the pains in the arse. Mo Farah doesn't strike me as a very angry man. Just saying!

Today: 48 mins. This week's target is achieved.

July 7th

Another cooler day, thankfully. I've decided to stop checking out my mid-point times because when I do, it can then trick me into thinking I won't make a decent time so I sort of give up. Today, I talked myself into thinking I was going to do a 50+ time. And dawdled.

Had I not, I would have smashed my personal best - as I did 48 mins again. Had I pushed on, a 46 minute run may well have been accomplished.

July 8th

Aim for the month: 46 minutes

Aim for this week: 47 minutes

Rest day, aka I got up too late day, and got home too late too. Somewhat conveniently.

July 9th

One of those days, like most days, I woke up and really, really, really did not want to run. At all. Nonetheless, me and my pot belly got dressed in the appropriate attire, and reluctantly put on my running shoes. I tentatively ventured outside and decided it would rain. Realised I was gaslighting myself.

I set off only to nearly turn around at the end of the road. Managed to have a word with myself. It was muggy, close and overcast. Sweat was already aggregating in regions I rather it didn't.

I jogged down the lane, ducking left to stagger half way up hill Everest only to be stopped by man in a car asking for directions.

In between gasps I told him 'back [heave] to [heave] the [heave] left'. I gestured to the right. Gave me something to ponder the rest of the way. Still, I've discovered a new mindful running technique.

I ran 48 minutes. Again.

Bizarrely, I went for an afternoon run and opted for route 2 for variety. Also 48 mins.

July 10

Too knackered to run today. Besides I've a man coming over to fix my vacuum cleaner. This is the highlight of excitement in my household.

July 11

One of those rare occasions I met a fellow runner, which I happened upon just as I arrived at the peak of hill Mauna Kea about to head downhill. He, of course, was half way up the steepest part, legs and arms flailing about in agony. It is one of those moments when one can safely assume he would have broken into a uphill stagger but ego takes over and he had no option but to keep running. By the strength of the filthy look he gave me as we passed, I think my assumption was correct.

Felt horribly sick today - I overate at dinner last night, and my bloated stomach, now affectionately called The Second Coming, really isn't coping with it. Activia has been recommended. I've bought a vat of the stuff - I'm just hoping that I can get it in sometime soon. Despite the extra bulk, I ran 47mins today. Mildly pleased but too uncomfortable (and knackered) to jump around with delight.

July 12

With a dentists' appointment and a massage booked, I felt my pain quota was sufficiently met today.

July 13

I thought my feet, legs and neck had been the source of my pains - but according to my masseuse it is my back that is tense and stiff. The solid bits in my legs, which I figured were seized muscles, are in fact just bones. There's muscles in there somewhere but she's not sure where.

The universe has a funny way of delivering karma. Today, my ego took over as I met a pair of women bimbling up hill Mauna Kea as I began my descent. So I run as fast and as hard as I could (think snail pace mach 2). I met them again once I'd done my circuit going up the gentler side of hill Everest.

Whether it was the massage or my ego that got me to hit July's target of 46 mins, I know not. I do know, however, I've shaved an entire minute off my fastest time. Yay!

July 14.

Following my hitting my target for the month, and still be alive to feel proud of it, I decided a long walk would be good training for my 5k race at the Cotswolds Running Festival. Now that there's less three weeks to go. We settled on a 13.5k stroll.

"You know you're running a 9k race, right?" she said just as we set off...


July 15

I thought I'd better try and determine a 9k route to practise on and figured a simple enough one out on Google Maps last night.

Alas, walking it today, I discovered a chunk of it goes along quite a busy, and very vergeless, stretch of road so I don't think it will be suitable. It took 1h, 48 mins to walk. Gah.

I think I've found an alternative route, however. If my legs can stand it, I will investigate tomorrow. At present, having walked 24 kilometres in the last 24 hours, I have an average speed of 1k per hour. I also have sore legs.

July 16

In two and a half months, I have worn out two pairs of running shoes, and two pairs of jogging pants. All have holes in them - the worst part was only discovering the holes in my jogging pants in the arse-end area when I got home.

On the plus, I've designed a 9k route. Alas, it still means clambering up hills Mauna Kea, and Everest but it is circular and therefore infinitely more interesting than there and back. Today, I climbed Everest twice though - unthinkable just two months ago. I also saw a dead ferret.

So today I did 10k, in 1h, 45.

Target for Thursday: 1h, 30.

July 17

Rest day.

July 18

Rest day. Quite literally: I've spent most of the day sleeping - only woken up to be told Fierce Fanny isn't mended yet, and that I'm NOT running 9k, but I am definitely running 5k. You gotta love it when people make mistakes! It's like a bank error in your favour, only better. The best bit: it's going to heave it down for the next two days. Training reduced to walking to the kitchen and back!

I am just delighted to be running 5k. Never thought I'd hear myself saying that, which means it's time for a sanctimonious meme, surely?

July 19

Ah! It's raining. Never in the history of Britain is there a happier person to be housebound by rain. The cat, however, has not stopped yelling at me.

July 20

Recover from the rain day.

July 21

Run out of excuses day - got out running instead. 47 mins, 18 seconds. Nearly inhaled a butterfly. And got trapped by two walkers at the top of hill Mauna Kea otherwise it would have been another 46 minuter.

July 22

Decided a rest day was in order. Mostly because I overslept and didn't have time to have a run and have a shower. So just showered instead.

July 23


It was, therefore, imperative I spent the day acclimatising by languishing on my sun lounger, with the occasional gentle stretch for exercise.

July 24

Righto, nothing for it but to crack on and run in the heat. Mostly because there had been a terrific thunderstorm last night and I'd forgotten to bring in my sun lounger so it needed to dry out. Glad I did because I managed 46 minutes again. Runking, of course.

July 25

Decided that as I was going to climb a wall this evening, I should reserve my energy.

July 26

Twas warm, but not heatwavy, and as I was up with the lark, I thought it best to go for a run to help get the morning over and done with. Was annoyed to only do it in 49 mins. Guess the wall climbing took more out of me than I realised.

July 27

Out all day. No chance for a run.

July 28

With seven days to go until the end of this Sadventure, I thought it best to wear in my newest pair of trainers. Walking seemed advisory. So I did.

July 29

With my new running shoes worn in, and my threatened cold dissipating, I was ironically disappointed to discover that the organisers of the Cotswolds Running Festival, Run 101, have gone bust, and with it my 5k Sadventure. I shall cast around for something in the future and then get back into training.


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