"Walk from dusk to dawn," she said. "That's not running..." Sounds great as an idea until it dawns on me I can get lost walking to the fridge...and that currently, dusk til dawn is approximately 7 hours right now and lengthening.... <<<I hurry off to pack bags for a move to North Norway before realising I can't afford to live there. Stays home, accepts challenge. >>> +++ "But what if a tree lands on your head?" he asked trying to persuade me not to do this. "Well, you'll hav
The Glyme Valley Way Walk... Previously done both halves, but never together, and the first half saw me very, very lost on an epic should have been 8km but ended up 17km walk. This is an attempt at getting it right. The Glyme Valley Way Walk, devised by BBC Oxford, is described as a 'pleasant' all day walk. I still don't know what an oxy is, but whoever wrote that was a moron. So with some trepidation, I caught a bus to Woodstock passing through Old Woodstock, with its 1960
Indoor Skydiving...I'm told it's fun. If I don't come back, would someone mind looking after the cat? Very attractive cat. Doesn't bite too hard, but he not half does a stinky poo. Went to bed with an ear worm: "I believe I can fly" by R.Kelly and woke up to discover the cold that has been threatening for days has morphed into a full assault. I am, therefore, officially in a grumpy mood. Was rather glad that Fierce Fanny is still at the gynaecologists so I could take the
"Spend no more than £10 per week on grocery shopping." It's another 28 day challenge. Yer what? People do this? The good news is that I can use whatever I already have in my cupboards (phew!). The other good news is for reasons of Health & Safety, the cat is excluded from the challenge. I don't fancy getting my eyes scratched out nor my pillow shat on. However, it's August coming up, and I've a stock of veg nearly ready, and I've noticed that the blackcurrents and raspber
As with all these things, once you embark on a Sadventure people suddenly suggest you do all sorts of related things... With my no sugar challenge, and the subsequent discovery that even Salt & Vinegar crisps are off the menu, I've been tasked with watching something I'd really rather not. Horizon: The Honest Supermarket, BBC2. First up: Bottled Water. I don't bother with it so this didn't bother me. Most bottled water is tap water anyway. Bottled water ain't that great f
By Augusten Burroughs "Sometimes when you work in advertising you'll get a product that's really garbage and you have to make it seem fantastic, something that is essential to the continued quality of life..." Those are the opening words of Augusten's memoir; the perfect analogy of how he feels about himself. Augusten has a love/hate relationship with his job, or rather he hates that it interferes with his drinking, he loves the kudos and the money though. His work partner
"Are you losing weight?" is a common question I'm asked these days. Having run or walked over 200k in the last eight weeks, one would have thought so. We'll all have to remain thinking so as I'm not a proud owner of any bathroom scales. However, when I put on my burgundy jeans, the ones I resort to when I've been lackadaisical about my laundry. I doubt I've shifted a pound. 'Perhaps, you should quit sugar for a bit?' she said. 'Perhaps, you should think again' I thought.
Started it on Saturday. Fell asleep. Had a nightmare. Yet to find out why... --- "Why is your cat called Nelson?" "Because I had a dream" "Surely, his name should be Martin though?" "It doesn't really matter what he's called. He ignores it anyway." Both Nelson and I are dreamers. Nelson sleeps for England. So do I. Unless Nelson is hungry. What I've never really thought about is why I dream, and whether I should take them more seriously. This book, however, is absolu
'How are you with heights?' she asked? 'I'm good until I get past 5 foot, 6 inches' I said. Sadventure accepted... +++ Was expecting this day to be an adrenaline-rush. Sadly, Fierce Fanny broke down a mere one mile away from her destination. Being towed home with a 4m tow rope by my white van driving friend was more of an adrenaline rush than I had anticipated for a Sunday. Fierce Fanny is now off to the gynaecologists. Sadventure will now take place in July. +++ And afte
Seems that now I'm training, and thus writing and talking about running for 5k, people's imagination is limited to other running I can do. This time: Parkrun Banbury. 'It's fun, it's social and you get coffee', she said. I'm running for coffee now... A friend had asked what I was doing this Saturday. I told him I was doing a running race. "I don't wish to be rude, but I can't help myself: you don't look like a professional athlete," he said as he laughed himself into a
Well, this came from left-field but it was decided I should spend seven days selling antiques. I have absolutely no idea about antiques although I've always thought working in little boutique shops have a romantic illusion to them. Probably because every love-sickening piece of chick-lit fiction I made the mistake of reading prior to entering the Mid-Life had the damsel, for it was usually as damsel, working in a bookshop. I figured sitting amongst musty old books amounted
Like many women, I have struggled with depression periodically. And anxiety - although I didn't realised for a very long time that how I felt was not normal. Nor did I realise just how inhibiting the latter can be. I think anyone who has suffered with depression is familiar with the futility of how life appears. The sheer exertion of getting dressed, having a shower, holding a conversation. It is not, at least for me, a sense of sadness. It is despair. Abject despai
I took Fierce Fanny to Scotland last year in order to find the most hilarious, rudest and downright odd place names for want of something better to do. A riot was had as I criss-crossed the highlands and islands seeking out Twatts, Bostadhs and Shags. As I was popping in to Northern Island this week, via Ireland, on Fierce Fanny I was tasked with finding out Ireland's equivalents. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you... Thankfully this wasn't a Sadventure: But I drove quickly t
I was tasked with visiting Thirsty Meeples - a cafe in Oxford where people play board games to their hearts' content. All I needed was a friend - duly found. "Just to warn you - I'm very competitive," she said. "No. I'm competitive," I replied. The battle lines were drawn - we'd clash on a Friday afternoon in the centre of Oxford. Sadly, not by quad - Fierce Fanny has developed an oil leak so she's at the gynaecologists again...so the car it was. It was quite a crusade to g
"You should read this book," he said. "Not a cat's chance in hell," I said. "It's really good," he said. "You couldn't pay me to read it," I said. Turns out I was wrong. For the princely sum of £2.40, he could get me to read it. It was a surprisingly fascinating read, despite my ego saying ‘Oh, no, no, no.’ Written by Ryan Holiday, a man with a cult following, and a former media stuntman. Media Stuntman? I have no idea, but it sounds very egotistical and hence he is best pla
One 'symptom' of a mid-life crisis is to flirt with younger people... In order to fulfil my destiny, I am tasked with "giving a hug to a person who needs it." Watch out shoppers in Chipping Norton, I will be on the prowl...you'll easily spot me, I'm the idiot wearing a helmet. +++ Good grief this has taken an age to sort out - not least because Fierce Fanny keeps breaking down, and just going down in a car, wearing a helmet, really will make me look like the village molester.
"To learn and eat ten new healthy-eating recipes. These can be whole meals, or something like baking your own wholemeal bread. If the quadbike is incorporated in this, then all shopping for supplies must be done using the aforementioned." Meal 1: Vegan Beef with Broccoli Righto. This seems ideal during veganuary, whereby my 'diet' has mostly been sustained by vegan burgers, lettuce and some oil-based margarine, all happily endorsed by the vegan society. No need for a quad
So I looked up what Jui-jitsu entails... "A bunch of blokes rolling around grasping at various man parts in hopes of domination" Good grief! I have to confess, this one I was dreading. It's taken an age to sort out this one for a variety of reasons, only one of which was a lack of looking forward to it! I found the whole thing pretty intimidating. Firstly, me, aged forty-four, fattish and unfit felt about as self-conscious as a teenager in a mixed gender changing room. I a
Yoga. I'm informed that yoga is about harmonising the body with the mind and breath. Righto. Given my body, mind and breath ordinarily exist in mid-life crisis mode, this was to be a serious challenge. I woke early enough, somewhat grouchy; gasping for breath with skin that was firmly harmonised to the bedsheets. Hot flushes, as they are popularly called, can strike any time day or night. 6:05 in the morning is neither day nor night in my book. First I had to get up, ba
Another phase of having a midlife crisis is that alledgedly one begins to compare one's body obsessively with others of the same age. Begins? Being of the womankind this is nothing new. I have been inundated with magazines telling me how to get the perfect body since I first learnt to read them. The joy of having a mid-life is knowing that for today my body is going to be a good as it gets. Better still is that I can attest to some benefits of having additional padding...