The Ostentatious Effrontary of the hamlets of East Riding of Yorkshire
It is coming to the county that is the mealy-mouthed East Riding of Yorkshire that one finds oneself in need of a recap on exactly how...
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Person Irresponsible
- May 15
- 6 min
The Uncomfortable Fashions of West Yorkshire
(Materially Manchester has been re-written for the book as the themes worked better in West Yorkshire) The West Yorkshire market town of...
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Person Irresponsible
- Apr 19
- 10 min
A few days in the life in the North Van-Ridings
I pootled into England’s largest county at a time when the great moors were at their beige best and the wintry heather had it smothered...
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Person Irresponsible
- Apr 16
- 7 min
The Englishman's home is not his Durham Castle
“The Englishman’s home is his castle,” was born of the notion that no authority had the right to enter one’s abode for any reason. In the...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 29
- 4 min
Death Features in Tyne & Wear
England’s fifth smallest county gave me little to write about - with just four little places of disgust to remark on, the world should...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 29
- 7 min
No one goes to Northumbria anymore
“Where are you off to next?” my friend asked. “Northumbria!” I replied. It turns out that Northumbria ceased to exist in 927. Down with...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 27
- 9 min
Cumbria is in the eye of the beholder...
If Scotland and Wales came together to make a baby, Cumbria would be the gushing result. It idles, rather than wanders, lonely as a cloud...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 5
- 6 min
The Omnishambles Surrounding Lancashire
In typical English logic, England’s first motorway was called the M6. M to denote “Motorway”, and “6” to account for the five motorways...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 3
- 5 min
Culture Ranking (Cranking) in Merseyside
To an American, a crank is someone in a foul-mood; to a Brit, it is an eccentric individual or one behaving in a manner most odd, and to...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 1
- 2 min
That Cheesey Cheshire Cat Grin...
....is readily induced just by yelling the word “pussy!” out loud in the vicinity of a heterosexual man. I have no idea if this is a...
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Person Irresponsible
- Mar 1
- 4 min
Materially Manchester
Manchester, or rather the county of Greater Manchester, is another ceremonial concoction formed on 1st April 1974. Unlike Avon, it...
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Person Irresponsible
- Feb 24
- 9 min
Out of Bounds in Derbyshire
Drowning in rugged moorland and vast wilderness, this “county of the deer” is the aptly-named bountiful supplier of roadkill for those...
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Person Irresponsible
- Feb 14
- 8 min
Body Matters in Staffordshire
In 1999, the media fell apart at the seams when the iconic Pretty Woman raised her arms to wave at fans who’d gathered to get a glimpse...
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Person Irresponsible
- Feb 9
- 5 min
Hysterically Stressful Shropshire
“If you’ve got a lot on your mind, go for a walk,” is oft-given advice in the event that a ‘steadying cup of tea’ fails to do the trick....
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Person Irresponsible
- Feb 1
- 5 min
No Sex Please, We’re Herefordshire
Herefordshire is the filthiest county I have visited thus far, not that this is the fault of Herefordians, some of whom claim that...
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Person Irresponsible
- Jan 31
- 4 min
The county of deliquesced fish
Precisely two hundred years after William Perrins and James Perrins dissolved their business partnership freeing the former to enter into...
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Person Irresponsible
- Jan 24
- 5 min
The county of Ikea
When asked why she refused to move, Sister Dora replied, “I am a woman, not a piece of furniture!” These days the immovable one can be...
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Person Irresponsible
- Jan 20
- 9 min
Warmongering in Warwick
Looking like a sperm whale vomiting out Gloucestershire, the county of Warwickshire sounds like England’s most bellicose region. Wick, in...
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Person Irresponsible
- Jan 12
- 8 min
Oxymoronic Oxfordshire
At first glance, Oxfordshire is a county of rogues and miscreants, although it might be more accurate to claim the county is nothing but...
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Person Irresponsible
- Jan 1
- 5 min
The Swamps of Somerset
Britain is a nation preoccupied with personal ablutions. At least one study claims that the average Brit has five showers and three baths...
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